By Nick Jankel

Author, Keynote Speaker, Leadership Theorist, Transformational Coach, Wisdom Teacher, Co-Creator of Bio-Transformation Theory & Practice®

This is definitely not something that everyone has a challenge with! But many do. Lots of people give and give but they end up giving too much – running out of energy to do the things that the organisation needs most, and becoming tired and even ill from the effort of constantly pleasing others (perhaps by doing favours, or taking on too many projects or activities). It can also be a challenge if we can’t say ‘no’ to people in our working lives that are no longer a positive influence on us. As our peers have such an impact on how we behave – how considerate we are, how healthy we are, how positively we think or how grateful we are for things – saying ‘no’ to tasks that are pulling us away from our potential is vital. 

If we find it hard to say ‘no’, then it is really important to practise saying ‘no’ to people – for many of us it’s easy to say ‘yes’ and tricky to say ‘no’. To say ‘no’ effectively, we must remember a ‘no’ is just that. It doesn’t mean anything more than that. It doesn’t mean ‘I hate you’ or ‘I hate doing things you ask me to do’ or ‘I am lazy’ or anything else other than ‘no’. And it can be said with a smile and with caring – it can even be said before we spend a bit of time helping that person to find a different solution. If we are someone who gives too much, it is important to practise saying ‘no’ to people when it makes sense to. As we practise, we might start to see that one of the main reasons we don’t like 

saying ‘no’ is because we are worried that people might think we are a bad person if we do. If we spot this limiting belief then we can always ask our buddy to help us change it. 

 

 

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